


turns out i might not be a lost cause

by Fessran



Category: Flight Rising
Genre: F/F, Original Characters - Freeform, PTSD, Past Abuse, Trans Characters, VERY implied but just in case, autistic characters, going to find a doctor and finding your future wife instead, i forgot that tag whoops, implied self harm, pre-getting together but it IS how they met, trans & autistic author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22282960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fessran/pseuds/Fessran
Summary: Jaguar makes the decision to leave the Ashfall Waste to find help for herself, and she meets someone along the way.
Relationships: C: Jaguar/C: Dune
Kudos: 4





	turns out i might not be a lost cause

Jaguar’s nightmares were getting worse.

Frankly she hadn’t thought it possible. More often than not she slept poorly, waking up multiple times over the night shaking as if Penumbra’s phantom claws were still gripping her scales. It was more the feelings ghosting over her body that bothered her than anything else, even the fear and paranoia. She knew he was dead and he could never touch her again. It still didn’t matter. Everything that happened with the Blister Springs Clan had passed. It had been years. She should be over it by now, right?

Whether she was ‘supposed’ to be over it now or not, she wasn’t, and that made her feel even worse. When the clan first disbanded and Jaguar was given the opportunity to reevaluate what had happened to her and how it  _ wasn’t  _ normal like she was raised to believe, she could force her thoughts to turn to more immediate concerns, like getting enough to eat and keeping her den safe and hidden from the clans in the area. The tiny life she’d managed to scratch out for herself after the horrific events of her existence ‘till young adulthood had been all-consuming, which hadn’t bothered her. She was intent on learning the skills necessary to survive. The clan hadn’t been much, and they didn’t particularly take care of their own, but she quickly realized there  _ had  _ been a difference in that she felt more capable, stronger, better able to guard what was hers in the past. And part of that was directly because of the dragons lower ranking than her in the clan that had been the ones to find the food. 

In any case, thinking only of what to eat was a concern that grew less immediate as she became better at hunting and therefore had more time for her mind to wander. But thinking wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to be moving. She’d been trained to keep moving. She was a mirror, anyway- they were pack animals, always on the move, on the hunt. 

(Yeah, right. In the Scarred Wasteland, maybe. Or maybe Jaguar just wasn’t a very good mirror. She was restless, yes, but also found it so, so hard to get up.)

So when thoughts turned negative- as they always did when she started thinking about her life  _ before-  _ she could think: this is enough. I don’t have to think about it. All that matters is surviving.

That got old fast. She couldn’t go back to how she’d thought before when she was Penumbra’s right hand, when the only decisions she made were given by him first. To be your own dragon so suddenly and completely- it was a shock she didn’t know how to register. She couldn’t even think to register it, at first. She hadn’t been aware she  _ wasn’t  _ anyone before.

The thing was, she wanted to be someone now. She didn’t want this life, alone and always so, so scared, and tired in this awful, bone-deep way. But how could one achieve something when there was nothing left of her? She had been born from nothing, she came from nothing, she was nothing. So why did she crave  _ more _ ? Didn’t her traitorous mind and heart know she didn’t deserve it? (She didn’t like to think about the specific things she’d done. Under Penumbra’s influence or not, she couldn’t let herself think about who she hurt. It had been Penumbra’s voice in her head, but it had been  _ her  _ claws. The idea that she was the nightmare someone else woke up trembling from- she didn’t think anyone had survived, anyway, but... the idea was unbearable.)

In any case. Jaguar’s nightmares were getting worse and she knew there were things she couldn’t deal with alone anymore.

She’d considered going to the Scorchtalon Clan and asking for help, since they were the closest and largest clan in the area, probably with the best doctors, but she felt that there were some things one couldn’t be forgiven for. (She was probably right.)

She didn’t want to go slinking that low, anyway. She knew by now there was nothing  _ inherently  _ wrong with the clan like Penumbra had drilled in all the Blister Springs dragons’ heads, but she still held no love for them. They took over a wide enough portion of the Ashfall Waste that avoiding them was difficult. The more prey they took for their own clan, constantly shifting and growing and shrinking with dragons entering and exiting, the less there was for herself. Jaguar wasn’t the only lone dragon here, but she had been on her own in this part of the territory the longest. Dragons didn’t stay by themselves for long in this part of the Ashfall Waste. It was too difficult to survive. And it was lonely. 

Once Jaguar made her mind up to leave, she wandered the furthest reaches of the Ashfall Waste. The closest other elemental territory to where her den was was the Windswept Plateau. Nervous, but determined, Jaguar left what couldn’t even laughably be considered a life behind and stepped across the border.

\---

It was far too windy here. Jaguar knew immediately that not only would she not stay, she  _ couldn’t _ . The wind was so strong that it would whip her easily if she simply spread her wings. She didn’t like it. She didn’t like things tugging on her she couldn’t control. The wind felt like a physical force, like a clawhold, making her shudder as it reminded her of other past touches on her body. She flew as fast as she could, battling the wind to the next elemental territory- the Sea of a Thousand Currents- only stopping when absolutely necessary, and when she got to the outskirts where the wind died down she collapsed dead asleep in a small abandoned Beastclans den she’d stumbled into and claimed for the night. 

The Ashfall Waste had been her home. She was born in fire. Leaving all she’d ever known to find help was strange, and admittedly, it scared her. She was more than alone now. She had no home.

(She reminded herself she didn’t have one before, either. ‘Home’ was always a fake.)

She awoke the next morning, hunted and somehow managed to catch a seal after facing off with it. The ocean was before her, glittering bright blue. She’d never seen a color like that before. It made her think of the shade of Prime’s scales. She shut down the thought before it could go further. 

She continued along the seashore, using her double set of heat-sensing eyes to look for any living things coming toward her while her other pair of eyes nodded off staring at the sand gathering in gritty swathes under her talons. Her ears were buzzing, her thoughts wordless. It was one of those days she wouldn’t have been able to talk if she’d tried; she knew she couldn’t speak, or think, or process much. 

In her dazed state a wave seemed to come from nowhere and hit her side, sending more sand and briny salt water cascading over her scales. She grimaced, shook herself, continued resolutely plodding on. She could fly faster than she could walk, but her head was full today, of Penumbra’s heavy breath in her ear and the exact twisting feeling in her gut she’d felt when she’d watched Sudden chop off her sister’s head, so flying wasn’t an option. Not unless she was desperate to crash.

She’d done well to not think of her sister for a while. In the early days, even still in the clan, Ascott’s death consumed her thoughts. She’d gotten more than one clawed face for being unfocused when Penumbra had went on one of his rants, pacing and tail lashing and snarling at nothing, his hatred for a group of dragons that had nothing to do with either of them boiling over. 

She’d been unable to look at him; she’d believed he was in the right for killing her sister, then, and it wasn’t like they’d been taught to prioritize family- Penumbra had said he  _ was  _ their family, their strength, the only thing they needed and could rely on- but, for some reason, she still couldn’t look at him without remembering the way Ascott had looked at her before she’d been killed. Ascott had never liked her, had always been jealous of her, even while Jaguar’s soul lay crinkling and dying in her chest like burning paper and she didn’t even know it yet, so this- dying for nothing while her sister stayed living, stayed as the dragon just below Penumbra’s in rank- had been the final straw. Ascott’s eyes meeting hers, the look in them clear-  _ this should be you. _

And then the ax arched downward and her head rolled down the steps and her blood splattered Jaguar’s chest and something in her was suddenly, irreparably broken.

And it was true. Jaguar  _ should  _ have been the one who died that day.

But part of her curse was that she kept living.

So in the present she kept walking, for the physical grounding feeling of her claws sinking into the sand, her head down and inhaling the biting wash of salt. She couldn’t concentrate enough to fly, not with her head so  _ full _ of disjointed memories and electric buzzing. She wasn’t there. She was there. She wasn’t.

The rest of the day passed in a haze of sudden sharp pain in her head and blundering talons leading her into the water without thinking. She came to when the sun had dipped completely below the crags in the distance, the deep purples and greens of the ocean night greeting her quietly like she’d risen from a deep sleep. Jaguar blinked and sat down in the rapidly cooling sand, wondering if she should continue on now that her mind had managed to rise from the thick, soupy membrane of disconnect. Or perhaps she should try to get some rest? Her legs were quite tired, but she could fly now that she was more awake. 

She opted for flying. The more distance she crossed, the better. It was unlikely she would run into anyone she knew, but she didn’t want to take that chance. 

She tried to pass through the Tidelord’s land as quickly as she could. 

\---

Leaving the ocean behind her, she warily skirted the border of the Scarred Wasteland, not eager to possibly pick up an illness or strange spore or something on the way to… wherever she was going. She had tried to think of a plan as she had been flying with nothing else to do, but hadn’t gotten far. She wasn’t interested in staying in the bogs of the Tangled Wood, and while the dragons of the Sunbeam Ruins could probably help with all their knowledge, she’d already been taking close to a straight shot up Sornieth. At this point, why not go see the other side of the continent? 

The border between ocean and wasteland quickly became simply wasteland as she left the Sea of a Thousand Currents behind, and soon thereafter the peaty scent and misty forests of the Tangled Wood came into view. Relieved, Jaguar let herself drop lower in the sky, squinting to see if there was anywhere a bit dry and sheltered she could land. She’d been awake an entire day and night and while that was nothing new with her awful sleep schedule and paranoia, she wasn’t used to trying to cross a continent while sleep deprived.

Her secondary pair of eyes picked up a collection of large moving heat signatures a few hills before her, so she decided to risk turning inward to head over the woods and avoid them. She had tried to stay on borders because she didn’t want to lose her way. She knew she could always find dragons who lived here after she had slept and ask where north was, but the idea of talking to anyone was unappealing. She’d heard the Shadowbinder’s dragons enjoyed tricks, anyway, and she did not want any added stress or frustration she could've avoided.

Her wings and limbs were both about the same level of sore now, which was to say, extremely. Her eyes were growing heavy and her drooping tail was quickly becoming more of a hindrance than it was a useful counterbalance. 

Wincing, she angled her wings to swoop down towards the ground, deciding she’d walk the rest of the way. She flapped her wings a few times so she could land properly, shaking the thin pine branches a bit with the air she was moving. Her talons sank into mushy ground and she grimaced, shaking out pine needles from between them. This was about what she had expected. Why were the other flight territories so  _ wet _ ? Even the  _ air _ was moist. 

Though… she breathed shallowly for a moment and glanced up through the trees, looking more closely at the gray mist shrouding the tops of the pines. If she ignored the damp air and cold prickling her scales, it looked a little like the smoke of home.

She pushed the thought away. The Ashfall Waste wasn’t her home anymore. She didn’t have one. 

_ You are out to look for a doctor,  _ she reminded herself.  _ And then, maybe, once your Flamecaller-cursed brain is fixed, you can start thinking about what to do next. For a home. _

She still wasn’t really sure her brain could be fixed, or if she deserved the help to try and make things better in the first place, but she had already been over this a dozen times. She had already left the vents behind. There was nothing for it but to continue now.

Her legs jolted with sudden anxiety, reminding her that she was in unknown territory. Standing in the middle of foreign woods while not paying attention to her surroundings was a good way to get into trouble. She glanced around, scenting the air as much as she could with the heavy, watery taste of fog and pine bark in her mouth. There didn’t seem to be anyone or anything nearby, but she would keep her eyes out. She wondered briefly what Beastclans lived nearby. It was a little strange that she hadn’t accidentally encountered any dragons thus far. She  _ had  _ been trying to avoid them, but her luck couldn’t hold forever.

She lowered her head and crept through the woods, looking for a place she could sleep in relative peace. The sun must have been up by now, though she couldn’t tell with how thick the fog was, and how dark the ground below the trees was. Walking through the peat, occasionally when lifting her talons a sucking noise that seemed far too loud in the quiet of the woods accompanied the action. Eventually, instead of wincing and freezing, she just hurried faster, trying not to set her feet down so heavily. It was difficult, because she really was exhausted by this point and her limbs went from aching to slowly feeling like lifting bricks. Even her wings folded against her back rustled and scraped uncomfortably. 

After a while of walking that got progressively harder and turned to what was practically struggling with a rather disgusting combination of mud and pine needles on her claws to drag her down, the ground began sloping upward and the bog turned to grass. The pine trunks grew thicker and sturdier, and with the rise in wooded area, more fallen trees and hollowed logs littered the ground. Tiny iridescent blue mushrooms grew in the wetter patches, splashes of glowing color amidst the dark purple shade of the forest. Flat gray slabs of rock, sometimes big enough for multiple dragons to lie across, gently rose out of the ground like they’d grown there. Bushes with glossy leaves in blue and purple grew beside the trees. The quiet of the bogs broken only by the frogs and crickets had been exchanged for buzzing of insects and rustling of small animals in the underbrush. 

Jaguar was tired, close to being more tired than she had ever been in her life, but she couldn’t help but be reminded of home. The lava rock had seemed barren to those who didn’t know better, but the glowing orange of the magma had always been a constant presence and sign of life. The glowing of the mushrooms in particular was more reassuring than she had expected. It wasn’t like the mother Flamecaller’s land (it was a lot wetter, in particular) but the signs of life other than herself were a little comforting.

Finally she found a place with a semblance of shelter; two large stones that had fused together near the top, forming a V shape, complete with trees shadowing the entrance to the cave-like structure. She snapped at a family of boar (non-aggressive, judging from their shrill squealing and hurry to run away from her, and also not large enough to be much of a threat) to move them out, scraped out some of the leaf mulch so it was just dry rock as the ground that she would warm with her own body heat as a fire dragon, and curled up in the dark. She was asleep as soon as she tucked her tail up against her nose and rested her cheek against the soft leather inside of the wolf pelt she was wearing.

\---

She awoke an entire day later. It took her a while to figure that out, because her brain was so muddled from sleeping that the sun being in about the same place it had (supposedly, through the fog) been the day before disoriented her and she wondered if she hadn’t slept at all. From her body’s reaction to the entire uninterrupted 24 hours of sleep, though- practically crying out in joy from  _ real rest _ for once, she felt so much more comfortable than she’d been for weeks- as well as the difference in weather (sunny!) she knew it wasn’t the same day.

She pulled herself out of the cave and stretched, scraping at the rock with her talons as she flexed her muscles. She enjoyed reminders that she was fit. It made her feel safer to know she could watch out for herself.

She still had to figure out where she was going, but for now, her mind was spinning from hunger. She needed food before she could continue.

Catching something in the bogs proved to be about as hard as she’d imagined. It turned out that years of nothing to do but perfect her hunting skills only applied when she was in the Ashfall Waste, where she knew the terrain and how to use it to her advantage. Here, it was a lot tougher. Her nose was already not the best- fire dragons tended to have less ability to distinguish scent than other dragons, because the firebreathing meant their nose and throat tasted overwhelmingly of smoke and not much else (one could get better at distinguishing scents, but here in the Tangled Wood it was like smoke AND overwhelmingly damp wood and leaves) so though it was sunny today, it all just tasted  _ wet _ . Her best option was to go prowling through the forest and hope to disturb something. Her heat-sensing eyes could help her pinpoint larger prey, at least. 

It took a bit of rustling around, long enough that the sun climbed a little higher in the sky, but with the help of her second pair of eyes she finally stumbled upon a large black feline that leaped out of a tree and made a run for it, and she gave chase. Mirrors were made to be good hunters, and the ground here wasn’t as wet as it had been a bit lower in the forest, so it wasn't difficult to catch up and take it down. As she was eating, she spread her wings a little so the sun could warm her back. 

She finished eating and buried the leftovers, clawing at a tree afterwards in an attempt to get the wet dirt off her talons. It didn’t really work, but it made her feel a little better.

She stood still for a moment, looking up at the sun and then back around the trees. The colors a few nights ago hadn’t lied- the trees really were so dark their needles looked to be purple, though with the sun lighting them up she could see there were greens too. 

She was… unsure where she was. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, but she figured she would have to by this point. She was unable to fly at the moment with the trees crowding so close together. Unless she wanted to accidentally flap her way into tree branches today, she was better off walking till there was an open enough space to fly.

She picked a direction at random and set off, keeping up a brisk pace. Jaguar hadn’t been around a lot of other mirrors growing up and didn’t know whether any behavior was ‘natural behavior’ for her breed, really, but keeping close to the ground in a quick little half jog, half prowl felt right to her anyway. Sometimes she entertained the thought of doing mirror behavior on instinct, because it made her feel a little closer to herself, and better about missing out on things other dragons had grown up knowing.

She trotted for a few hours, knowing that while heading lower into the marshes might bring her to the outskirts of the woods faster, she could not tolerate any sucking mud today. It would make walking harder and be generally unpleasant. So she stuck to hiking upwards, which winded her a bit, but was easier on her talons too. She hadn’t realized she’d gotten a little out of shape. Lots of time spent sleeping in her den and only dragging herself out to eat every once in a while did that, she supposed.

While fire-breathing dragons didn’t have a great sense of smell, they  _ did  _ typically have average hearing, and Jaguar had been trained, so she noticed the sound of footsteps coming up behind her before the other dragon noticed her. She swiveled her head and relaxed her heat-sensing pair of eyes, picking out the heat signature of a dragon heading through the woods toward her. The heat signature was fuzzy, so she couldn’t see any details for species. She frowned and glanced around, looking to see if there was somewhere she could hide, then realizing that she  _ did  _ need directions. Huffing a little to herself, she turned around and started walking towards them, pushing down the nerves that erupted from the thought of talking to another dragon.

_ Calm down. You can defend yourself if things go bad. You need directions. It’s worth a shot to ask. _

She was so focused on trying to calm herself down that when she swerved around a tree, she nearly collided with the other dragon she was walking towards. She threw her neck and wings back and backed up quickly so she didn’t hit them. The other dragon grunted in surprise and backed up a few steps too, peering down at her with the bumps above their eyes that signaled emotion raised. Jaguar glanced up to see who she would be speaking to.

She took in a lot of what she considered the most important information at once; ridgeback, brown eyes so an earth dragon, bigger than her, relaxed in a way that made it clear they weren’t worried about the sudden appearance of another dragon (not worried because they could handle themself in a fight?), packs on their chest and waist so they either travelled or were a courier (or something of the like) by trade. Less important information came next, like how they  _ looked _ (gray with darker stripes, chest light brown and wings much the same but with spots of light green… the other dragon looking confused, but their expression not unpleasant.) 

“You should probably pay more attention to where you’re going,” they said, in what Jaguar's closest interpretation of emotion seemed to be amused. Jaguar winced, opened her mouth, and realized… it had been a long time since she’d talked out loud.

She coughed, struggling for the right words, and managed, “I apologize.” The other dragon looked at her slightly concerned but, thank the Flamecaller, didn't say anything about her hoarse voice. Jaguar pressed on, stumbling on her words but her voice gaining strength as she continued. “I’m actually lost, and went towards you to ask for help, but was too busy thinking to notice where I was putting my talons.” Her voice had gotten so rough, she stopped and ducked her head to cough again. Embarrassment pricked at her talons.

Still, the ridgeback smiled at her in a way Jaguar could really only describe as kind, if still uncertain. “It’s fine. Earthshaker knows I’ve run into plenty of dragons before. I’m Dune.”

Jaguar realized then she’d forgotten to introduce herself. “Oh. Jaguar.”

“Good to meet you! Looks like you need help, so I guess I’m a lifesaver in this situation.” Dune grinned at her as Jaguar blinked up at her.

“That depends on if you actually know where to go.”

“I’m a courier, it’s my job to know where to go. Where are you heading?”

Jaguar was pleased her earlier assumption of Dune being a traveller or courier was correct. “I’m heading north.”

“Nowhere specific?”

“Just… north.” Jaguar debated whether or not to say what she was looking for exactly- maybe Dune would know of good doctors, apparently being well-travleed- if what she was saying was true, though Jaguar wasn’t sure what she could gain from lying besides sending her in the wrong direction for fun- but Dune was already talking, having not noticed Jaguar’s hesitation.

“Well, I’m going north too,” she said. “I gotta deliver a package to a clan in the grove, then I’m done with my rounds. Heading back to my village in Dragonhome. It’s near Onyx, the capital?” she said it like Jaguar might not know the name of the capital city of Dragonhome. Which wasn’t an incorrect assumption, since Jaguar had never learned much about the world map beyond the general directions and names of the flight territories, and had literally never heard the name of the capital before. She was a little disturbed to realize she didn’t know the name of the Ashfall Waste’s capital. It must be around the Hearth, right?

She remembered she was supposed to respond. “Yes,” she said automatically, then frowned, unsure if that made sense. “Or- I mean. Yes, I know of… the capital.” She certainly did know of the existence of a capital, though the name was entirely new information.

“Cool,” Dune said, unconcerned with what Jaguar was praising herself for very smooth sidestepping. “Anyway, I’m heading back there. I dropped off what I needed to down in this weird swamp, so, thank the Earthshaker I’m done and can go back to where it’s  _ dry _ .” Jaguar felt a bit of kinship at that, and another thought popped into her head- Dragonhome wasn’t entirely different terrain from the Ashfall Waste in theory. It was dry and sparse and kind of like a desert, except less fire. She snapped back to attention, because Dune was still talking. “Not to sound like I’m bragging but I’m pretty good with directions. I can show you the way there if you’d like. It’s north, anyway, closer to the Labyrinth border than anything.”

Jaguar didn’t know why that would be something one would feel proud enough of to brag about, but she tactfully kept her mouth shut. She considered the offer. She didn’t particularly want to travel with a dragon, ANY dragon- there was a reason she’d avoided them up to this point- but maybe it would be good getting some practice in with how to communicate to dragons before she found a doctor… and Dune would probably know of some good doctors if she lived there. And it  _ was  _ ‘north’ which was her only plan.

But she didn’t know this dragon, and there was always a chance Dune could be lying. Jaguar’s instinct was to object, simply be pointed in the right direction, and travel alone. She knew she could take care of herself, but she’d much rather never have to have another bad and potentially avoidable thing happen to her again.

_ What else do you have to lose?  _ one part of her thought.

_ I’m sure I have something left,  _ Jaguar thought in response.  _ I can’t risk losing it. There’s a reason I’m still here. I just have to get better and find it. I don’t get weird vibes from her, but I don’t want to rely on that. It’s safer to go alone. _

“No, thanks,” Jaguar said. “Can you just point me in the right direction?”

“Of north?” Dune said, sounding amused and luckily not at all offended Jaguar turned down the offer. “Sure, but we gotta get out of these trees first. There’s a place north of here where you can take off easier, and there’s a thermal that zips you right along in a straight shot up towards the border between Dragonhome and the Viridian Labyrinth.”

Trying to ignore the nerves that rattled in her chest and bit at her belly at the suffocating thought of having to travel with another dragon and make conversation with them for even a little bit, Jaguar said simply, “alright,” and stood waiting for Dune to start walking.

It didn’t take long to get to the open space Dune had mentioned, but Dune did attempt small talk a couple of times before realizing Jaguar wasn’t offering up much and giving up. Jaguar learned that Dune was from a village so little known the dragons who lived there just called it ‘Beside Onyx’. She also learned that Dune was an orphan, and had been before she’d been in an accident and had to get her hind legs amputated. Her legs now were prosthetics, made of a certain type of metal they used in Dragonhome that kept prosthetic limbs sturdy and light. And one of the legs supposedly had a hidden knife. Jaguar was unsure how a knife could be hidden in a leg, but it was good information just in case.

Dune, meanwhile, learned Jaguar's name and that she was looking for a doctor. And that was it.

“Can I ask what the doctor is for?”

“You  _ can  _ ask.”

“Oh, so I can ask, you just won’t tell me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It was implied. Is there a reason you’re not telling me anything? What, are you secretly a murderer?” from the face Dune was making, she was joking, but…

_ You have no idea,  _ Jaguar thought dryly. She debated with herself internally for a moment, then sighed aloud. She was probably never going to see this dragon again, right? “I just need a doctor. Nothing scary. It’s… for some… issues with my head.”  _ Wow. Way to go, Jaguar. That made a lot of sense and didn’t sound at all scary. _

“Huh,” Dune said. “Like, physically? Or mentally?”

Flamecaller’s ashes this was so uncomfortable. “The second one.”

“I see! Well, nothing to be ashamed of. Earth knows I've had my fair share of that. What dragon doesn't, nowadays. I’d go to Onyx, or somewhere around there. They have the best doctors. Those are the ones that helped with my legs.” With this, she shook out one of her legs. Jaguar turned her head to look. The prosthetics  _ were  _ pretty advanced. How well they fashioned prosthetics wasn't really close to something she needed, but…possibly worth a shot. They might know of a doctor who could help for her own problem.

“Maybe I will. Thanks.”

“No problem. I hear nature dragons are pretty good with this stuff too, if you wanna hit the Labyrinth instead.”

The trees around them opened up to a grassy clearing. Dune stopped and tipped her head up so her beak was pointed at the sky. “Here we are! Plenty of space to clear the trees. So, over there-” Dune pointed with a claw, “that’s the direction you go towards Dragonhome. The Labyrinth is more that way.” She turned her talon to point slightly to the east. 

Jaguar was surprised that she didn’t feel as happy as she thought she would about parting ways. It wasn’t quite  _ reluctance _ to say goodbye. It had just… been nice to talk to another dragon. That was the only thing it could've been, right? 

She pushed the feeling down, though. She had a job to do. She’d just met the other dragon, so there was no reason to want to stall and stick around. Chances were very slim that she would ever see Dune again.

“Thank you,” she said formally. “I appreciate your help.”

Dune shrugged, dipping her head politely in response, and with the action it looked like a ripple of energy went through her that started with the shrug of her shoulders and dip of her serpentine neck and ended in the flick of her tail. Jaguar had noticed, in the short time they'd been together, that Dune always seemed to move her entire body for what felt like simple actions.

“No problem,” Dune said with a smile, echoing her earlier response to thanks. “You’re not the first lost traveller I’ve helped. I’m gonna go drop this package off so I can go home.” She shook her body a little so the package tied down to her chest wiggled slightly. “Anyway, good luck with the doctor. It was nice meeting you.” That was the only warning Jaguar got before Dune unfurled her wings and took to the sky. The mirror crouched so the wind didn’t knock her over, staring up at the ridgeback as she gained enough height to catch a wind current and wing beyond the trees. She was gone quickly, a blur of energy that disappeared over the spiky treetops.

Jaguar stared after her for a moment before spreading her own wings and taking to the air, setting off in the direction of Dragonhome.

The real work would begin when she  _ got  _ there, but for now, her flight across Sornieth was nearly over.

\---

The rest of the trip passed by in a hazey few days. By the time the trees below her flight had become sparse and the ground had turned gray-brown with dust and dark ridges that hinted at canyons being far below her, she was  _ incredibly  _ sore and tired. She’d pushed herself a lot harder than she probably should have. An entire continent wasn’t meant to be traversed within a week.

Jaguar’s first impression of Dragonhome was that it was  _ dusty _ . There was a lot of sand and wind and a lot of different types of rock, but not much else. Sparse vegetation and a dry heat that reminded her of the Ashfall Waste. It wasn’t uncomfortable. She could tolerate it. Maybe even get used to it. It wasn’t disagreeable. 

Her second impression was that hunting was harder here, where the villages were so much thicker than where she grew up. Prey animals weren’t just left alone unless a hunter was hungry, anything nearby was killed and sold in the markets.

After landing in a small town to ask for directions to Onyx, Jaguar also realized she did not have any money. This was a problem she had (foolishly, she thought) not foreseen. She could take care of herself and find food and shelter outside of the towns, but again- prey didn’t come as easy as it had before. She’d expected hunting to be different across the continent, just like she expected the climate to be different. It was kind of strange the heat and openness was so similar to the Waste, but so many other things were very different, like how much prey ran, and how many villages she'd seen on the ground below her as she flew.

Money was one of the things she thought about now that she’d remembered it existed. Finding a doctor while unable to pay… Maybe she could trade something. Jobs they needed done? Physical labor, moving things around, building something? She could do that. It would help get her back in shape.

Currently, she was a little ways outside of a town eating a deer she’d caught (with some difficulty). She’d stopped here as she’d been directed by the last town. This town was nicknamed Phoenix’s Nest by the locals because it was almost entirely filled with fire dragons. She appreciated being given the name, because she thought maybe the dragons here would understand how different the Flamecaller’s land was compared to a territory like  _ this.  _ Filled with cities and villages that had been here for centuries… nothing like how open and empty it was around the Hearth. How much  _ space  _ there was.

Gnawing on a leg of the deer, her mind drifted without her thinking. After a good ten seconds of it she stopped eating and frowned down at her talons, feeling a little prick of confusion nip at her head. 

Why was she thinking about Dune? Why could she even remember her?

She didn’t really think of other dragons when they weren’t near her, besides the ones she’d grown up with. She’d thought about other dragons she’d met for a short period from time to time, but it felt almost like she was… missing talking to Dune? There had been something odd about her. Maybe it was how Jaguar had noticed so many little things about her, like the way she walked (bouncy, like she had a lot of excess energy) and her voice was like that too, that same high energy quality to it, even as her words and tone themselves didn't feel particularly energetic. Like she was making an effort to control how much she'd talked, maybe, or how loud she was. 

It stressed Jaguar out to talk to other dragons, but it wasn’t terrible to talk to Dune. Dune hadn’t said too much besides a little light teasing about Jaguar wanting to keep things to herself. Dune had honestly seemed a little unsure of what to say too, like she was more comfortable with short conversation when doing her job and dropping off packages than hanging around and trying to make conversation with other dragons for a longer amount of time. And that was… reassuring. It felt like, maybe, Dune knew how hard it was to talk, too. 

Why would she be thinking about a dragon she’d just met and barely knew and feel a little wistful?

The answer, Jaguar realized immediately, was obvious. She hadn’t ever known what  _ friends  _ were like. She’d been as uncomfortable and paranoid around Dune as every other dragon, but still… she thought, maybe, if she’d stuck around… she wouldn’t have minded spending more time with her.

Jaguar hissed at herself under her breath to stop her own thought and reached out with a foreleg, hooking her talons on the other side of the carcass to drag an uneaten side towards herself. She was being foolish. She didn’t know Dune. Just because it had been nice to talk to someone didn’t mean anything. She wasn’t  _ that  _ desperate. She wasn't lonely. She was fine.

Once she had finished she buried the bones of both her meal and her thoughts about Dune and headed back to town, planning on asking for a town near Onyx with the name of a good doctor, perhaps. She didn’t want to go straight to Onyx; from what she'd heard, it would be too busy, too much noise and stimulation. She was stressed enough by any other dragons nearby. It sent her paranoia sensors blaring.

Talking to dragons made her heart beat faster and her talons curl with anxiety every time, spending too much time sizing them up to try and see how she could take them down if they lunged at her to really listen to what they were saying, but she tried to force herself to calm down enough to talk to a group of dragons standing outside the town’s local bar. 

“Is there a town near Onyx with a good doctor?” she asked after they’d exchanged pleasantries and she’d explained that she was unsure where she was going.

“Oh, sure,” one of the dragons, an orange-and-brown bogsneak, replied. “If you’re looking for a place with good doctors that isn’t Onyx itself. I lived in Dragonhome for a while, by the flats a little past Onyx, and there are some good doctors over there. No reason to visit them myself, though, so that’s just what I’ve heard secondhand. There’s the valley down under the pass, too, off a bit to the east of the big city. They have a few towns around there in the valley. I don’t know the names, but there's one around there that has a dragon named.. uh..” they looked to the light yellow skydancer beside them for help, but the skydancer just shrugged.

“Hell if I know. I’ve lived here in Phoenix’s Nest my whole life.”

The bogsneak frowned and turned back to Jaguar, shrugging apologetically. “Sorry, I don’t know the name. Something with an ‘a’. Doc Ari, maybe? Try asking around if you head that way.”

“I will,” Jaguar said. “Which direction are these in again?”

“The flats are that way, north-” they pointed to be clearer. “The valley is that way, east.”

“I appreciate the help, thank you,” Jaguar said courteously. The bogsneak dipped their head formally and Jaguar started, remembering that seemed to be a polite custom in Dragonhome. She'd seen Dune do it before she knew what it meant. She hurriedly returned the gesture, then turned and quickly walked away, panic gnawing at her stomach. It was stupid, she knew there was nothing wrong with not knowing, but feeling like everyone could see her and know she didn’t know what she was doing, and that she didn’t belong here like they did…

She growled and without thinking slapped her tail hard against the dirt, wincing at the pain that lanced up her back. It was an unfortunate habit of hers to do something to hurt herself to distract her when her thoughts turned to something she didn’t want to be thinking about. Pain was one of the only distractions she knew could help at all, though she guessed it probably wasn't healthy and she'd have to figure out a better way to deal with stressful thoughts eventually. 

A valley seemed more her speed, so she oriented herself and headed east.

\---

It wasn’t very far to the valley, took her about a day to reach the pass and follow the trail from the air to the towns. There were plenty of other dragons in the air and on the trail itself that day. Jaguar’s spines were uncomfortable after being flared with stress for so long, a subconscious reaction trying to make herself look unapproachable. It wasn’t like she really needed to, being up in the air, but good luck telling her body that.

Though nestled in the valley, the villages themselves were obvious, dotting the landscape like freckles on the scales of a water dragon. Jaguar picked the nearest one and angled her wings to dive down towards it, coasting a bit on air so she didn’t go too fast. She landed on the edge of the scattered shacks and small adobe buildings. Colorful fabrics and lines hung from windows and roofs, connecting one home to another. The village was sprawling, wide open streets with some sort of stone underneath her talons carved with designs she didn’t recognize, maybe some of the local language. As she walked further into town, keeping her ears pricked and eyes everywhere she could, murals began decorating the walls, beautiful pieces of the deities and the townsfolk from years past and Sornieth itself. Jaguar found herself almost too distracted by how  _ bright  _ everything was to keep a careful eye out for trouble, eyeing dragons who passed her. Not quite that distracted- she wouldn’t let herself- but close. No one paid much mind to her except a few spare glances from disinterested strangers. She preferred it that way.

It was… nice here, at least in this part of the village, with colors and shapes that felt interesting and soothing enough that she felt she could stare at them for hours.

As all things do, the relative peace came to an end, as she was pulled out of her quiet enjoyment by someone calling her. She stopped and looked towards the group of dragons- Jaguar counted four in all- heading towards her. The streets were mostly empty with only a few passerby, so the group stood out, especially as they all had very clearly marked scales and pelts. If they hadn’t all been different breeds, Jaguar would assume they were related (though one couldn’t exactly tell just from looks.) Still, a skydancer, a tundra, an imperial, and another mirror were all quite different, even if they all had similar bright hues to them and complex markings. 

They also appeared to be young adults; Jaguar was older, but not by that much. She tensed warily as they approached, trying to appear relaxed and uninterested and not at all like she was planning ways to take them down and bolt if need be.

“Hey!” the skydancer called again, pushing themself towards the front of the group in a way that suggested that they probably considered themself to be in charge of the rest. “What’s a fire dragon doing all the way across Sornieth?” The question didn’t seem to be hostile, but Jaguar still felt her spines raise.

“Maybe I live here,” Jaguar said shortly, carefully standing her ground as the group leaned in around her. “The color of a dragons eyes don’t tell you anything about them. Sometimes they don’t even have the correct color from where their egg was conceived.” She shut her mouth and grit her teeth.  _ Don’t ramble. It makes you seem nervous, or like you’re stalling. There's no reason for them to not know about how dragon eyes work.  _

It was this leaning in business that actually did make her nervous, like they were casually surrounding her. They didn’t look like fighters; Jaguar could lash out with all claws and teeth at once and make a run for it if need be, but she didn’t particularly want to get into a situation where she was surrounded. She wanted to stand her ground too, though, so she just stood straight and raised her wings a bit as a warning. The other mirror eyed her, noticing the shift in posture, but the others didn’t let any hint go that they’d noticed as well.

“No, you’re definitely from the Waste,” the tundra said, brown eyes squinted as they peered at her with their head cocked, looking a bit amused. “You’re wearing one of those-” they motioned to the wolf cape she always wore fastened over her head and draped along her back between her wings- “pelt things. We see so many fire dragons wearing those. Is it some fashion statement down there?”

“I guess with so few big cities they don’t keep up with the trends,” the mirror said, grinning. Jaguar noted the bared teeth, an unfriendly gesture where she was from, but maybe it didn't mean the same thing in Dragonhome? She’d keep on her guard anyway, assume it didn't mean anything good.

She couldn’t really believe she was standing here listening to what, to the best of her estimation, was a bunch of young dragons from a middle of nowhere village vaguely making fun of her. Maybe they thought they were hot shit because they lived near Onyx? Maybe she was still misinterpreting. She couldn’t imagine what else would be going on, though. She also didn’t know how she was expected to care what they thought about her. They were barely wearing anything but billowy colorful fabrics around their shoulders and bands on their tails, anyway. Terrible for flying, she noted with a wrinkle of her nose. The fabric would drag and make it hard to maneuver, and the bands would weigh their tails down.

“Why would you want to hide your expression?” the skydancer wondered aloud. 

Jaguar refrained from touching the mask on her face. She didn’t remember she was wearing it most of the time. She liked that it hid her expressions. She liked that it covered a good half of her back and body. It made her feel safer. Why was she standing here listening to this? If they were trying to upset her or just make conversation, neither was going anything but poorly.

“Did you have something of actual importance to say, or can I continue on my way?” Jaguar asked sharply, not staring at any one dragon. Direct eye contact hurt, and it wouldn’t help her in this situation anyway. “If you’re looking for someone to hassle, you won’t find it here. I’m too busy to get into a fight.”  _ And none of you fools would make it out of here uninjured. _

The skydancer, thankfully, just shrugged, and the huddle that had formed around her stepped back at once. “Just checking out the visitors. There’s not much to do around here.”

“You could’ve tried just talking to me if you were so curious,” Jaguar said, curling her lip and flicking the tip of her tail in irritation. A sudden idea came to her. “If you all live here, can you tell me if there’s a doctor in town?”

The other dragons swapped glances. “Is this how you’re making us pay for daring to talk to you?” the imperial asked, sounding amused.

“Answering a simple question can’t be that hard,” Jaguar said, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

The mirror’s lip curled, but held their tongue, looking to the skydancer, who shrugged.

“Whatever. The doctors are by the cliffs.”

_ So this wasn’t a complete waste of time,  _ Jaguar thought. She didn’t dip her head in thanks or say thank you, instead stiffly turning away. They hadn’t given her enough to really be all that appreciative. And they didn’t follow her.  _ Thank the Flames. That was annoying. _ Young dragons bothering her for no reason. _ Pain in the tail. _

In any case, she had a point of reference now, the cliffs. She’d have to still head inward towards wherever the main street was. 

The beauty of the village had lost a bit of its charm in the discomfort following the interaction, but it was still an enjoyable walk through the streets, at least until it grew busier. With Jaguar heading deeper into the winding streets, she had to scan more and more dragons who passed her, as well as keeping an eye on the cliffs up ahead. Her body felt tight with tension.

She was so tired of being on her  _ guard  _ all the time. Even though now seemed a good as time as any for vigilance, being surrounded by strangers the entirety of Sornieth away from anything she ever knew. It made sense, was smart even, to be wary.

But still. She was  _ tired. _

Dodging dragons who stepped on her toes and brushed against her tail, she was starting to get edgy and twitchy and much more nervous. She didn’t like anyone touching her, especially when she was already on such high alert. She was so focused on trying to clamp down on her rising panic, all the noise building in her head and brightness of the sunlight ratcheting upwards till it was nearly intolerable and she was tugging the mask down to shield her eyes better, she didn’t notice she’d reached the edge of the main street. The murals surrounding her were gone. She glanced up. The cliffs were nearly above her. She hadn't noticed with the sun behind her, so the cliffs themselves didn't give off any shade.

She examined the buildings, looking for signs. She had thought repeatedly as she passed through the villages that she was lucky enough to have been taught to read. Surprising, given how many other things she had had to learn herself once out of the clan. She followed the rows of weather-worn signs set atop roofs till she saw one labeled ‘doctor’. Feeling her anxiety levels rise, she pushed past two fae chatting in front of her, ignoring the towering feeling of the building as she drew closer.

_ There’s still time to turn back. You’re probably going to have to tell them what happened so they know how to help you. It’s dangerous to let anyone else know. You can still turn back. _

But she had to do this. She couldn’t go on living how she did, which didn't much feel like living at all. More like surviving. And she was tired of just surviving.

She nudged aside the fabric hanging in front of the entrance and halted halfway in the door, a shock so great it froze her running from her nose to her tail tip. There was a dragon hunched over the counter on the far side of the room, a dragon whose colors and spines and shape of their head Jaguar recognized immediately, and it felt like a direct blow to her chest.

Dune turned around casually as if to welcome the visitor and halted with her mouth hanging open, her conversation with the receptionist stopping like she'd hit a brick wall, staring at Jaguar in surprised silence.

Jaguar had not prepared for this. So naturally, instead of saying what she wanted to, something maybe kind of funny about what a coincidence it was to run into the other dragon again, she instead said, “you lied to me!”

Dune physically recoiled from the accusation, her eyes widening in shock. “No, I didn’t!”

“You told me you lived in a village named Beside Onyx!” Jaguar realized with a jolt that she didn’t actually know the name of this village, since the bogsneak had never told her, but Dune beat her to it.

“That’s the straight-to-Draconic translation of it, and it's not even the villages real name, it's just what the locals call it!"

Jaguar had had no idea what the town was called, but she didn’t know Dragonhome’s languages anyway. She shook her head in disbelief, her body finally reacting how she felt she should’ve in the first place- dropping her eyes, ducking her head, and laughing. After a moment, Dune shook her head in disbelief and snorted a laugh, too. Jaguar remembered then that there was another dragon in the room, a snapper behind the desk, but it had completely slipped her mind with the sudden appearance of a dragon she actually recognized and had not expected to see.

“I’m sorry,” Jaguar managed to choke out between wheezes. Her chest felt tight, head reeling, but for once, not in a bad way, the way she associated with panic. No, this was... good. She hadn’t laughed in a long time. “It’s just… I really didn’t expect to see you again. I didn’t prepare for this at all.”

“You say that like  _ I  _ expected to see you, either,” Dune said, amused, turning fully towards Jaguar and heading closer to stand a few feet away, as she had figured out over their short time together was the distance Jaguar preferred, smiling down at her. Jaguar nearly stepped forward to move closer on instinct, but stayed where she was, surprised by the feeling. Some strange instinct telling her Dune was safe, telling her to move closer to the comforting rumble of her voice. She ignored it, but set it aside with the intent to study later.

She couldn’t disregard the relief she felt as seeing a slightly familiar face, one who she had enjoyed talking to before. The wistfulness she'd felt before, thinking about the ridgeback- something seemed to click into place in Jaguar's head, something she couldn't put a word to yet, but felt like she understood anyway.

“It’s good to see you again,” Dune said. The genuine smile on her face, the warmth of her eyes, the uncomplicated kindness of her voice, it all helped soothe the anxiety thrumming through Jaguar's limbs. “You don’t have to go with this doctor, obviously, but he helped with my legs, and he’s helped with everything that came with it.” She made a gesture with her talons that Jaguar figured meant to imply the trauma she’d briefly mentioned when Jaguar had brought her own up, as vaguely as possible. “I can put in a good word. I help out around here a lot.”

Jaguar couldn't think of what to say at first, staying quiet, staring at the other dragon for a moment before finally saying, “that… would be much appreciated.” She smiled, small, and Dune smiled back, puffing her chest a little and clicking her claws against the floor as a tiny expression of happiness. Jaguar felt herself wanting to mimic the ridgeback’s bright smile. It gave her this odd wrenching of her heart that wasn’t unpleasant or unwelcome, but was certainly strange, one she couldn't remember feeling before.

She still didn’t know what would come from this, if anything, but… it had been a long time since she'd even had the option to try this whole friend thing. And a little help would go a long way right now.

**Author's Note:**

> having a first best friend and becoming someone else's first best friend after a lifetime of never being allowed (or allowing yourself) to get close to anyone is something that can actually be so personal
> 
> stay tuned for the wedding that i probably wont write because if i had to write all the gay weddings of my flight rising dragons it would be a LOT of weddings but god. theyre so sweet i love them so much. i am very excited to figure out how they go from here to where they are now in my canon (helping each other recover from trauma! trying to figure out the weird and complicated but cool and fun thing that is Getting Together!) 
> 
> also, couple of notes:  
> -i dont imagine the dragons having QUITE as much difference in height and size and such as the game says they do. Jaguar is a mirror and Dune is a ridgeback, so when Jaguar stands up straight on four legs the top of her head about reaches a little below Dune’s shoulder  
> -i imagine Draconic, as a language, having an easier way to tell others your pronouns without having to actually say "my pronouns are _". there's multiple pronouns one could refer to themself (so 'i' or 'me' can be gendered or neutral, stuff like that). you could also just tell another dragon your pronouns if you wanted, though, which some choose to do for whatever reason. in this case, Jaguar and Dune introduced themselves with their own pronouns in Draconic through referring to themselves as 'i'. so, quick way to say something like 'i'm Jaguar' and theres a certain word that means 'i' that simultaneously also means youre telling the dragon youre introducing yourself to that youre 'she'. if that makes sense. its not something i can really show with english so you just have to accept that thats what i was going for. i find this whole thing fun but i also do not know how linguistics WORKS really. im cutting myself off here i do not want to ramble about my dragon language headcanons  
> -there was no reason to really mention this till now but Jaguar is a nonbinary lesbian and Dune is a trans bi woman. just so you know. trans gay rights. theyre also both autistic, ergo, the tags. if ur whole flight rising lair isnt made up of u being indulgent and projecting then what r u doing honestly  
> -links to the main characters flight rising pages and lore dont wanna work so just note my fr is EmperorTime and if you wanna read their lore, go from there. if i can figure out how to make links work ill just edit this later. Jaguar's bio is more detailed about her backstory than just implications i added here, it helps provide a more thorough understanding of her character, but it is, after all, a more detailed account of her trauma, so its gonna be heavier. so just be aware of that
> 
> anyway ty if u read all this u deserve an award for listening to me infodump abt my ocs lmao


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